Easy Ed's Tall Tales



Writing short stories beats chasing after altar boys!




I had been sitting at the hotel bar sipping a Remy Martin with a water chaser for about fifteen minutes when I first heard her voice. "Are you here for the convention, too?" I'd been so involved with my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed that someone had sat down beside me. I turned towards the speaker and immediately saw one of the most attractive women I'd seen in a long time. She wore a Navy blue business suit with a white blouse both of which were complimented by her nicely frosted hair and an extremely attractive smile. "No, I'm not here for any convention", I replied, "I was just in town for some legal depositions. I'm a lawyer." "Oh, I see", said the woman, "I just thought maybe you were one of the thousand CPAs here because their main meetings are right here in this hotel." "No", I answered, "I'm just a small-town lawyer --- how about you?"

"I'm with Apexsoft --- we make software programs and I'm here to introduce some of our product line to these accountants. My name is Carole".

"Pleased to meet you Carole, my name's Jim. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Thanks, Jim, I'll have a Cointreau straight up, if you would."

As soon as I caught the bartender's eye, I ordered Carole's drink for her and another Remy for myself. This Carole was really attractive. But what really interested me about her was that she seemed totally self-assured --- without being assertive. The depositions had gone well for our firm today, I had had a great filet at Blackie's Steak House earlier tonight, I would fly home tomorrow --- but here I was tonight sitting at a nice mahogany bar in Chicago talking to an extremely attractive woman. Was this a great country or what?"

"So where do you hail from, Carole?"

"I'm from New York, Jim --- how about you?

"Jersey --- Upper Saddle River to be exact."

"Did you go to school in the New Jersey area?"

"Not really. I went to Cornell where I was a Politics major. Then I went to law school at Yale. How about you?"

"I went to Smith up in Massachusetts. What type of law do you practice?"

"Med Mal --- that's medical Malpractice to the layman. That's what I was out here for today --- to take the deposition of the defense doctor. How long are you out here for?"

"Oh, I'm here for the whole three day convention. It can get a little boring --- but I make a nice living and the work is interesting.

Just then a trio began to play. I hadn't even noticed them setting up --- but there they were: a piano, drums and a bass. They were playing "Weekend in New England". Two other couples were already dancing on the small dance floor.

"Care to dance, Carole?"

"Are you sure your wife won't mind?"

"Maybe you're really a detective! I see you spotted my wedding ring real fast! No, Sarah wouldn't mind --- but how 'bout your husband?"

"I'm divorced three years now, Jim --- see: no ring --- but yes, I'd love to have a dance."

We walked the short distance to the dance floor that now held six couples and began to slow dance. Carole was extremely graceful and not the least bit shy about dancing reasonably close. When the trio completed "Weekend in New England" --- they launched into "An Affair to Remember". Carole and I danced to that one as well. "You dance quite well, Jim." "Thanks, Carole --- so do you." After our second dance we returned to our seats at the bar and I ordered another round.

"What did your former husband do, Carole, if I may ask?"

"He was and is an insurance agent --- life insurance, auto insurance --- the whole line. Does your wife work, Jim?"

"Yes, she does. She's a real estate agent and pretty good at it"

That was the last time that we spoke of spouses or ex-spouses. For the next two hours we talked, consumed several more rounds of drinks and made several more trips to the dance floor. Carole was funny, enjoyable --- and very beautiful. She had a great figure and I guessed she was about my age. At some point I entertained the possibility that she would not be averse to making love with me this very night. Of course --- if it happened --- it would not be the first time that I had had an affair. Sarah had suspected such for the last three years or so. I had always denied it, of course --- but Sarah was not stupid. Somehow it seemed that most women could just "tell". My sex life with Sarah had been good up until about three years ago --- but I'd always believed that man was not naturally monogamous. The last time that Sarah accused me of infidelity, she had threatened to leave me if I ever "strayed" again.

As Carole and I returned to the bar from our last dance I think we both realized that we had a fairly good buzz on and I think we also both realized what was going to happen next.

"Carole, I have a bottle of Remy XO up in my room. Would you care to join me there for a nightcap?"

"Sure, Jim --- what the hell! I'm not due to make a presentation tomorrow until 11 o'clock"

We took the elevator to the fourth floor and held hands as we walked down the blue-carpeted corridor to Room 426. After entering the room, which contained a full-size sofa and coffee table as well as the king-size bed, I proceeded to open the bottle of Remy XO and poured some into each of the two hotel water glasses as Carole made herself attractively comfortable on the sofa. I handed one of the glasses to Carole as I joined her on the sofa. As we sipped our drinks and talked I noticed that in a seated position on this couch, Carole's skirt was at mid-thigh level and her legs were absolutely inviting. I began to think about gently caressing her thigh. But instead I merely listened to Carole's voice and sipped my XO.

Moments later Carole said, "You must excuse me, Jim --- but Mother Nature is calling. I'll just be a few minutes." Carole then placed her drink on the coffee table, arose from the sofa, picked up her black pocketbook and proceeded into the bathroom. At that point it seemed like my head cleared for a period of time and I began to feel like a wave of paranoia was coming over me. But then some thoughts from the past came hurdling at me. "Oh, Jesus", I said out loud. As these thoughts started to form a picture, I suddenly stood up.

Carole returned from the bathroom and she must have noticed that my expression had changed.

"Are you O.K., Jim?"

"Yes --- yes --- I'm fine Carole. But I'd like to ask you a couple questions."

"Sure, Jim --- what would you like to know?"

"By any chance, did you go to Vassar instead of Smith and did you room with a girl named Sarah? And by any chance are you a private detective or something who was hired by my wife to meet me here in Chicago?"

Carole smiled and began to walk towards the door, while still looking at me.

"Yes, Jim --- yes on all counts".

"Well I'll be damned! You purposely sat next to me at that bar downstairs --- and everything else!   I just don't friggin' believe it!    But nice try, Carole --- a damn nice try!"

"We do what we can, Jim --- we do what we can. Thanks for the drinks and tell Sarah I said 'Hi'."

With that Carole opened the door, entered the corridor and gently closed the door behind her.

Next: THE FIGHT